Flip - I think you may be right, that some affirmative action may be needed. I have been thinking about what kind of 180 I could do that would make a positive difference - hopefully, I can come up with something. Honestly, though, I am so busy just getting through each day that it's hard to muster up the energy to keep up the efforts I am already making! I am feeling a little low today, so sorry for the attitude.
S3 has come down with chicken pox - my poor little sweetheart! H is home with him today (goes back to work on Friday), but I will probably leave work early as I am sure S will be wanting mommy by mid-afternoon.
My birthday on Sunday was pretty depressing. I was with my kids, who always make me happy, but H got home around 7:00 pm. He did say "happy birthday" and give me a brief hug (felt obligatory) -- but no card, no gift; not from him nor did he get anything on behalf of the kids. Just what I expected, but I couldn't help but be disappointed nonetheless. I don't know how he can (sometimes) claim to be trying when he is so thoughtless and uncaring towards me.
I am now wondering if H is just waiting till he has been home for a few months (maybe till after the holidays) and can then say, "well, I tried, I stayed for a while, still no feelings, now I will D you." I did bring up going out to dinner maybe the week after Thanksgiving, and he seemed amenable. Still, this is exactly why I think Flip is right - I need to DO something affirmative to get him thinking. I am just not sure what. Maybe I should do a DB telephone consult. I did one back in June, and maybe I just didn't get the right person, because I didn't get much out of it at all -- just didn't click with the coach. But, maybe it's worth another try with a different coach.
I am just so scared that the other shoe is going to drop anytime now. We haven't had any fights or R/M talks, but I just don't get a good feeling about how things are going. Yet, when I mentioned that it is "benefits enrollment" time at my work (I carry all of our benefits as mine are much better than H's), H said, "oh, put me back on the dental plan." (we just did flex spend for dental last year, as that plan isn't great if you don't use an in-network dentist). So, is he thinking he's not leaving for a while, or is he not realizing that he doesn't get my benefits (and will have to pay for half of our kids' benefits) if he's not my husband -- or is he thinking he'd like to get a root canal before he D's me?!
