Ali – That quote is so true! In fact, I have tried to tell H exactly that – he could D me at ANY time, why not try to work on things first, now that we have finally made some progress (i.e. recognizing the problems, my trying to make positive changes). But, he just keeps saying it’s too late, he doesn’t have any feelings left . . . Ugh. Will stop by your thread later, as I only have a few minutes to post right now.
SusieR – I am feeling pretty overwhelmed right now, and being sick these last few days hasn’t helped. So far, I have only let 2 people know about my situation: my mom and one of my best girlfriends. My mom lives close by and is very supportive practically and pro-marriage (although she’s mad at the way H is treating me right now), but she doesn’t have any advice other that to pray. I am praying, but I need some practical advice, too My friend is in Boston (I am in Chicago) has been supportive from an emotional/sounding board perspective. She is pretty mad, too, but says that she’d be doing the same thing I am if she was in my position (fighting to keep the M). I am struggling with telling anyone at work about what’s going on – I don’t really want to, but am afraid that the strain may begin to impact my work, and I don’t need to mess up my career on top of everything else! Interestingly, H says that he hasn't talked to ANYONE about all this, as he wants to handle it himself. He totally rejects the suggestion of any kind of counseling. I guess I don't really even want him to talk to his friends as they are almost all divorced, and 2 are happily (as far as I know) remarried. Thanks for checking my thread. I have been thinking about scheduling a telephone consult, but just need to find the time when I can do it privately!
Journaling: Spoke very briefly with H last night. He called and I let S answer, but then S told me to talk to him, and I didn’t want to say, “no, I don’t want to talk to Daddy” to my S. H had nothing really to say. I asked him if he was ok, and he said, “just tired.” I said I was sorry and that I would let him go so he could get some sleep. He told me that some people down the hall from him at his apartment were having a loud party on Saturday night, so he couldn’t sleep well at all. Apparently the party was still going when he got up at 2:30 am. To get ready to leave for work. I told him I was sorry about that, but I’m really not. He could’ve gotten a perfectly nice night’s sleep at our house (I guarantee our baby is not anywhere near as loud as a party)(no, she’s not sleeping through the night yet – she usually wakes up around 2:00 or 3:00, and then ends up in bed with me) had he chosen to stay with us. Perhaps he’ll be in a better mood when we talk tonight.
I ordered a book on Amazon today called something like, “Should I Stay or Go, How Controlled Separation Can Save Your Marriage.” I have read DR, DB and 5LL – anyone read this book I just ordered or have any other recommendations for me? Must do some work now – have a lot to do today and want to go home at a reasonable hour so I can rest as my head cold is still pretty bad.
