WOW,,, you sound like me and your hubby sounds like mine,, they honestly believe they are the ONLY ones that work hard at the"M".
I too went into what I call my cave and did my best but became invisible and the more he was unresponsive the quieter I became.

Prove gim wrong work on you and be beautiful,,, and own who you are and do not let him dictate how you feel,, I still struggle with this. It is truly hard to hold onto yourself when you love them sooo much,, it is hard not to let what the do affect you but it can be done,, it just takes lot of hard work on your part.
I will keep reading your sitch and help you when I can.

have a wonderful honey,, you deserve it.
God bless...