There are quite a few happy endings and they usually end up in the piecing forum.
Thank you for sharing your story, I am thrilled for you.
And YES I know too that it was God who also saved my marriage.
I too can attest to the fact that had it not been for the MLC I would not be where I am today. Too many years were wasted and now I just want to spend the rest of them rebuilding all that was lost.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
FYI I am registered on 4060 and the link does not work. Very interested in this. Can you advise?
Bomb 1/06 D dismissed 11/07, attempt reconciliation. Premature. Divorce final October 31, 2008. OW looks like bad history. Over. Still hopeful. Baby steps. In R with my X.
I have not been over here for a while - once a life/marriage rebuilds, your time fills back up with that. For now I read - but post much less then even before on all the boards.
Our connection has continued to grow deeper over the last couple of months. I did not think this could happen, things were very good - but continue to get even better post MLC, and yes allot of this is because of my growth during my W’s journey. As our spouses go on their MLC journey – I think it’s very important that we go on a journey of discovery to ourselves and to marriage and relationships. Men and Women – there is allot you did not learn in High School, don’t waste this time waiting and not learning, hit the Christian book store and learn how M’s and R’s are supposed to be.
I am pushing more trying to find out what was going through her mind at various times. So far - still allot of "I don't know" and honestly, I don't think she does know. One MLC'er recently referred to MLC as "the Grand Daddy of all depressions" - and from her point of view it probably was, but helping a person in MLC isn't the same help needed as that for a person in standard depression.
Still the best advice – give them time & space, but hold them accountable for their actions – they are confused but still adults. Go on the journey to you and learn what you don’t know about R’s (you might be surprised at how little your friends at the beauty parlor or barber shop actually know – and how unhappy most of them really are).
Take care all.
P.S. Holly06 – Smuff re-posted that link here on DB, the reason you couldn’t see it was it’s behind a password protected forum at 4060.
This has been a turning point to a better M. In 25 years will either of us will remember much about this time? Because in 50 years neither of us will remember much of anything.
I just want to stress this...over and over ...for everyone.
Quote: GIVE THEM TIME & SPACE
BUT
HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS
We know about the time & space...but at the right time, accountability is just as important. This is where boundaries come in and how we show our respect for ourselves and they come to respect us too.
Keep in mind – saying someone has MLC, is like saying someone has cancer. There is skin cancer, lung cancer, breast cancer, intestinal cancer, brain cancer, etc., etc., etc. - they are related by being cancer, yet all a little different. MLC has some common links (depression being #1) – yet each MLC is unique to each person.
This has been a turning point to a better M. In 25 years will either of us will remember much about this time? Because in 50 years neither of us will remember much of anything.
Well it's been since July/Aug of 05 since I heard my W tell me ILU. In my book she came out of MLC in Sept. of this year - but that doesn't mean a light switch was thrown and everything was "back to normal" - it's been a pretty quick climb, but things continue to improve.
Christmas was different - but much nicer with out the MLC beast - smiles and thank yous that were genuine, not forced.
Our Anniversary 1 Jan - W turned to me in bed and said "I LOVE YOU" only took 18 months - but who's counting
This has been a turning point to a better M. In 25 years will either of us will remember much about this time? Because in 50 years neither of us will remember much of anything.
If my WAW ever "comes out of the fog," she could write a best seller: HOW TO DRIVE YOUR H NUTS WITH MLC.
All MLCs may be different, but my stbx was predicatble in her unpredictability, if that makes sense. I must say that I knew in my head all along what the ultimate result was going to be. It's just that my heart was not willing to accept it, until I learned to distance myself. I have since said that I am ready to be divorced, but she has yet to pull the trigger. Limbo-land stinks!
I am a moderator/mentor at 4060 and pretty much fill the same role at pathpartners.com. I try to get back here and keep up on a few threads - but miss a couple of weeks and it takes some reading to catch up (I'll try to get back over to your sitch today - I am interested in seeing how you have been doing).
It is also harder to find time for the boards once your life comes back together - my W now wants to spend more time with me . I was also assist coach for D12's soccer team (2 evenings a week + a chunk of Saturday), then D12 made the Jr. High soccer team, + her off campus Violin lessons - I started teaching Bible study every other week...........................GAL also takes time away from the boards.
So - I have been keeping busy, all good stuff. Most of my board time now is when it's slow at work - some weeks there is more time then other.
luvmywaw, Post a link – I’ll try to find time to read up on your sitch. I never thought I was going to make it through this – my W’s MLC was too linear, that actually worried me more – I kept waiting for the shoe to drop………………….
My best advice is to keep reading – but also different MLC sites to get different ideas and see different sitchs. Like my post above: saying your spouse has MLC is like saying someone has cancer……………………..there’s allot more then one type of cancer and MLC’s are unique, there is no one size fits all.
This has been a turning point to a better M. In 25 years will either of us will remember much about this time? Because in 50 years neither of us will remember much of anything.
. I was also assist coach for D12's soccer team (2 evenings a week + a chunk of Saturday), then D12 made the Jr. High soccer team, + her off campus Violin lessons - I started teaching Bible study every other week...........................GAL also takes time away from the boards.