Do LD's want their spouse to become LD?

[Burgbud]

This statement is contradictory to earlier ones you have made.

For instance?


Unless you have some sort of altruistic reason for defending CeMar.

Did anybody have an altruistic reason for defending Cobra's W when they suggested that calling her a F*ing B*ch wasn't a good idea? Why do we get on Cobra's case for doing that but we pat Bear on the back for similar treatment of CeMar?


'often don't' does not equal 'does not.' Do you have any proof of your assertion?

What would you accept as proof? Are you looking for a paper from a peer-reviewed journal? Have you implemented any of these insulting techniques in your own sitch? If not, why not? Have you ever seen insults work as motivation outside a hierachical social structure? (I don't know; I'm asking.)


Generally, people on this board will try this once, before giving up on CeMar.

Why are they applauded for it?


As far as who benefits, I think it is actually beneficial to any lurkers who may have a mindset similar to CeMar's see how frustrating his dogmatic POV really is.

Well, I guess we can't ask them because they're lurkers. I'm quite skeptical of this idea, though. Perhaps a lurker or two will delurk and correct my thinking.


Are you suggesting that any ineffective behavior that comes from a place of caring should be avoided?

At a minimum, I'm suggesting that any ineffective behavior should not be encouraged no matter what place it comes from. At a maximum...well, I'm trying to think of a reason why ineffective behavior that comes from a place of caring *shouldn't* be avoided. You've thought this through, what do you think?


And who knows, maybe, just maybe, one of those mildy insulting comments will get to Cemar.

And maybe, just maybe, some mildly insulting comments would get to some of the intractable spouses the posters here are dealing with. Should folks start trying it?

Granted, most BB's are just biatch-fests. But that sort of thing is conspicuosly missing here.

Isn't the post I'm having an issue with an example of the sort of thing you say is conspicuously missing here?


You seem remarkably adept and highly focused on pointing out the flaws of others.

I can see where you get "highly focused" but where does "remarkably adept" come from? I feel like I'm pointing out the obvious...that calling people names says more about the insulter than the insultee and doesn't help anybody. If I was remarkably adept at it I think I'd be able to get that point across but the consensus seems to be that I'm wrong.


How does that work out for you in real life?

To echo another point I don't feel I've been remarkably adept at making, you know next to nothing about my real life. Even if you went back thru the 1000+ posts I've made on this board you'd just be looking at the peak of the tip of the iceberg.

But to answer your question directly, I can't think of any time in the last few years I've seen one adult berating another in real life (and yes, I consider a phrase such as "...on the rare occasions she can bring herself to have sex with you..." berating). If an example comes to mind later I'll return and follow up.