I think the desire that CeMar really should want, is a desire from his wife to work with him to fix things. I am in firm agreement with GEL and MrsNOPs that lack of sexual desire is just a symptom of a larger issue. His W won't desire him in the way that he wants sexually until after she desires to fix things, and they have been working on it for awhile.
It is curious though, and I have commented on it, that one major difference I see between the LD (or formerly LD) people on this board and many of the non-speaking LD spouses is that the LD women on this board seem to have an innate desire to want to work with their spouses while many of the non-board LD's don't seem to have that. I think that makes all the difference. I'm willing to bet that most of the guys here would be more than willing to be patient and understanding with their LD spouses if they saw a true desire to want to work toward compromise. Where the real frustration comes in is when there appears to be no desire to work together. Perhaps this lack of desire is due to poor communication, deep resentment, stubborness, or childishness, who knows.
Now maybe you GEL and MrsNOPs weren't always the agreeable, lets-work-it-out types (I know MrsNOPs has frequently mentioned a 1-2 year period of rather heated arguments and spectacular failures). Perhaps something useful would be to share what flipped the switch. If you were unwilling to compromise, work-together at one point, and now you have changed, what did it for you? You've may have answered this in one way or another at earlier times, but I think it is useful to be stated again.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
