Scheduling: A Help or a Hindrance?

[toughlover]

Everything just seems to be clicking for us right now.

As I've posted, I think in our sitch the schedule was exactly the right thing to do at the right time. We followed it for a couple of months, maybe a little less.

As I posted, there are some complications that sort of interrupted the schedule, and during that interruption, we saw some pretty major growth in terms of our closeness/connectedness, and sort of toyed with the idea of going to a looser schedule, more of a quota system or something.

Well, the complications of her g.h. outbreak lasted longer than we expected this time, and as we enjoyed each other's company more and more, I underwent what I think was a major change, as I think I've documented here, in that my HD sort of leveled out. I realized that much of my HD was really just due to both my desperation in needing some connection with her and sex had been the only way for me to do that even though, in reality, for the longest time she was just doing it to sort of keep me quiet and happy.

Of course, that's changed over the last several months. At this point I'm pretty satisfied with our relationship and really enjoy just being with my wife. With kids and work and all the other stuff we have going on now. A couple times a week is fine for both of us, and, despite some concerns that abandoning the schedule would cause a problem, so far it hasn't because we've talked it out pretty thoroughly and, well, we're both more or less satisified with the way things are.

I say more or less because I don't want to take anything for granted and assume more about her perspective than I really know, so I'm trying to be open to her and make her feel like she can talk about it if there's a problem.

I also realize this could change over time.

As far as some of the attraction and "feelings" issues we've had, I'm not sure if that's changed or not. But she seems to have changed a lot in how she responds to me sexually and affectionately. It's hard to explain but things are just better and more natural now. We've ML twice in the past week and, unlike in weeks past when it was sort of "okay, it's Tuesday evening, time to ML, let's get to it", it's sort of grown out of a lot of more spontaneous affection and foreplay, so the intercourse seems much more emotional and close...intense, really...and she's just more passionate during the whole thing, especially when she orgasms.

So I don't want to declare victory too early, but we're sort of flying this way for now and are both very comfortable with it, both very satisfied with it, so the schedule, quota, whatever is pretty much on hold for now while we just try and live out what we're feeling and doing now. Feels good.

Probably won't post on this thread anymore unless something changes. I just wanted to update those who have been helping me out with where we're at because I really appreciate all the viewpoints and suggestions which have really helped me along the way.

Hopefully, I can return the favor someday.