I recommend that you stay on the schedule until your wife becomes comfortable with your relationship again. This could take a long time.
In the aftermath of an affair, both the betrayed and the infidel have a lot of trust issues to work through. She needs to feel safe with you, and you need to feel that her sexual response or passion for you is genuine. A schedule provides a safe place to work the sexual part of your relationship out.
My advice is that you don't expect much spontaneity in a relationship that still has other major issues that are being addressed. Having well defined order in your life/relationship for the next year or two is a venue for you and your wife to both mend your relationship, and to rediscover each other.
Again, the schedule helps your wife feel safe with you. It helps her feel like she is meeting one of your needs. At this point in recovery after a long term affair, your wife is likely working via her own internal list of what she needs to do to help recover the relationship. The schedule will help her work through that even when her feelings don't match the task at hand.
All the best, -NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
