My W recently took a part-time job at a women's clothing store at the mall, mainly for extra $$$ and the employee discount.
She volunteered for as many hours as they'd give her, and what she likes most is stocking and switching out new merchandise, much of which means she goes in at 6am and occasionally works 8pm-Midnight. It has been changing frequently and sometimes last minute, but this'll only happen one week out of every few.
When she does this, even if we are both together on a scheduled day, it may be at a bad time or she may just be worn out from all the working.
Of course, it ruins the schedule. As a dense guy, once you take away my routine, but also tell me that spontaneity isn't a realistic possibility right now, I feel kind of like an airplane without landing gear. It's all up in the air and out of my control.
My response to this was to "give her the week off" by telling her I realized she was working a lot so don't feel pressured about this.
However, now I feel like a wuss. And the paranoia is creeping in, too.
Should I let it slide, act as if, and act like it's not a big deal? Should I test the waters and go for a little spontaneity anyhow?
You know, i have to say that since the honesty has returned, and I'm getting her full attention and commitment, the anxiety over frequency and stuff has mostly disappeared, until now. But now I'm gettin horny, dammit, and our schedule's all shot to hell, and spontaneity is supposedly a bad idea (from her perspective), as is talking about our sex life too much right now (also, her request).
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
