Excellent reading of Deida, Corri. It's tempting to just reject him outright because what he says SOUNDS like those stereotypes we've been trying to get beyond.

Corri, if you like this one, I think you'll like It's a Guy Thing: An Owner's Manual for Women also by him. I quoted extensively from it a while back...

It might be useful to substitute the word "invitation" for the word "testing," Lou. You wrote
Quote:

I know Blackfoot subscribes to or sees the woman testing her man. To me it seems annoying and childish/selfish.


Is it annoying and selfish to "invite" your man to respond, to play, to interact?

Instead of seeing BB as "testing" you in a childish way, look at as an invitation to see how you will interact with her. And don't forget that sexuality can be very "childish"-- remember Transactional Analysis: Each person has within a Parent-Adult-Child. Sex happens when the children play together. Each person needs to be able to let the child out. That's why relating as a Parent to the other's Child (and vice versa) is the death of sexual desire.