Quote: Corri, I am reading the same book and got to page 90. Most of the book makes sense but I have trouble with some of the ideas like a woman not being logical (like the ocean wave) and often testing a man. I know Blackfoot subscribes to or sees the woman testing her man. To me it seems annoying and childish/selfish.
I didn't get the same meaning from that passage. Keep in mind that what Deida is referring to is intimacy. He is not saying that women are incapable of logical thinking; he is saying that when women approach an intimate issue, they are most likely to first approach it through feeling; they act and respond on feeling first. If you come across a woman who approaches intimacy from a more logical stand point, the man has either become weak in his masculine polarity, and she has had to up her masculine energy... or, you have one of those 10% Rs where the man has a higher feminine energy and the woman a higher masculine energy.
As far as testing goes... Deida states repeatedly that most women do not do this on purpose, or through conscious thought... but rather, as a test to make sure her man is still in his masculine energy, and to feel secure in his love. He gave quite a good example, I think, about the man who comes home and states he just made a million dollars today at work, and she gives him grief for forgetting to pick up the milk on the way home like he said he would.
Quote: I think a W should trust her H, have faith he will do what is right for the family and hold him accountable for doing the best he can. Testing sounds child like and I thought most W's were beyond that childhood/teenager testing stage.
Trust is something that is continuously earned. It is not a once given, never brought up again thing. Read these chapters again... testing is often a female way of inviting the man to engage in and reaffirm his love... which the woman constantly seeks to surrender in. Testing is a means of reasserting the male/female polarity... which keeps energy levels high between both parties... if the man does not become placating and weak in his integrity.
That, I think, is another important point. Deida does not say that a woman should surrender to her man. A woman surrenders in his love. Big difference.
Quote: While reading the book, I can see where I made mistakes, allowing BB to challenge me as often as she had in the past.
It's not about 'allowing' her to challenge you, but how you handle yourself when she does so. A woman will always challenge. That is part of testing. In a challenge, she is asking for you to affirm her and reassert your masculine energy... without killing hers. Read the chapters again, because this is very important.
Quote: I was wondering if you had no sex drive, liked animals better than people, thought men just want control in a R, would you feel the same?
In having no sex drive, in thinking that the man just wanted to control the R, and seeking the company of animals over the company of other people, I would say, at least according to Deida... that the masculine/feminine polarity has been de-energized in the R... the woman has taken on too much masculine energy because she had to, and the male has allowed and placated and emasculated himself to neutrality... thereby lowering the total energy of the R to companion type funtionality.
You can, at any point, realign yourself as a superior male... and Deida discusses how to do this in the beginning chapters of his book.
When a woman pushes you away consistently... the male/female polarity is off.... at least according to Deida. In thinking back on my own LD days and my M... I can see this with such clarity now it stuns me.
I think you are going to have to read the book a few times to get this... but I think your wife seeks emotional reassurance, and a serious, serious 'upping the voltage' on your masculine energy.
That's what I am getting so far. In reading the chapters on how men should deal with their women... I'm stunned at how accurate he is... there were times when I'd feel my dander getting up... I was waiting to be 'offended,' you know... but I keep reminding myself that he is talking about the male/female intimacy connection only... he is not talking about women and careers, or their intelligence or abilities, or anything of the like. He is not insulting women in any way.
He is discussing the exchange of energy. Polarity. Laws of attraction. Maintaining, directing and taking charge of the intimacy in your life (and that doesn't necessarily mean fcking and sex... but it can).
Very, very, very intersting book. One of the best I've ever read. It helps me tremendously as a female in finally putting into words what I've always sought, but have never been able to verablize.
