Quote: .. Why am I reading a book written by a man for men? 'Cuz I'm dam curious to know what a man who writes a book for men on how to be a superior man would say.
Corri, I am reading the same book and got to page 90. Most of the book makes sense but I have trouble with some of the ideas like a woman not being logical (like the ocean wave) and often testing a man. I know Blackfoot subscribes to or sees the woman testing her man. To me it seems annoying and childish/selfish.
I think a W should trust her H, have faith he will do what is right for the family and hold him accountable for doing the best he can. Testing sounds child like and I thought most W's were beyond that childhood/teenager testing stage.
One thing I do like about Deida book so far is not dumping masculine responsibilities on W's, not looking for a W to give her H ego strokes like he would get from his mother.
Wifely encouragement/respect is different than parental encouragement. Schnarch had something similar which he called a "reflected self worth" a person depends on from others. IE, don't suck out of your close contacts or depend totally on respect from someone else. It drains them dry and pulls then down.
While reading the book, I can see where I made mistakes, allowing BB to challenge me as often as she had in the past. I can see where blackfoot gets some of his ideas. I like many of the ideas in the book. Some of the ideas remind me of passages written in the Bible.
So far, you said you would man I'd climb a mountain for a Deida like man.
I was wondering if you had no sex drive, liked animals better than people, thought men just want control in a R, would you feel the same?
I don't have my other questions organised for posting but would like more of your or any woman's input about what works or doesn't seem to fly on your no sex drive days. I have to consider BB situation and absent libido, but still wanting me to near her but at arm's length.
Quote: I'm just getting into part two on how men should deal with women... but all in all... I keep thinking to myself... 'yep, yep, and yep.'
I have used one short chapter (All the chapters are short) about allowing the W to give her input, for the H to consider it, but for the H to make the final decision based on his core values, not to just please his W.
We were at Home depot and BB wanted a new storm door. I listened to her reasons, some didn't jive with reality (putting a dead-bolt on a storm door and we already have dead-bolt one on the regular house door that cost $99 because BB liked the looks of the dead-bolt lock) so I explained why it didn't make sense and looked at something else and moved on.
On some other household improvements I felt we didn't need, I did them to please BB. Sometimes I felt manipulated or felt BB just wants new things to feel good, not because they are really needed, it's mostly the buzz she gets from shopping.
Lou
PS "You can't see what you can't see. Until you do."
Corri, I used this tag line this week. It is kind of sticking in my mind lately.
