EXCELLENT post! CeMar, are you paying attention? He's accepting his W for who she is and how she is RIGHT NOW, he's doing HIS part in fixing the things in their R that he can, he's not waiting on her to fix things.
True acceptance of the other person and owning your own behavior (and working on it) is PRICELESS in repairing rifts/damage in relationships.
Toughlover, kudos to you for learning what touches your W's heart. Things like that truly do make a difference. It's something my H is figuring out too....just about a week ago I was not feeling well. He remembered from five years ago that when I don't feel well there's a soup I used to go buy myself at a Vietnamese place that always seemed to help me feel better. He drove 40 miles out of his way to go buy that soup and bring it home for me....without telling me. THAT made me feel loved and cherished.
