Thought I'd update a little on this since this seems to be an unusual topic and thought someone might find this useful.
We've been doing this a few weeks now. Scheduled ML sessions (Tues, Thurs, Sat am(oral), Sun pm). It's interesting. Here's my observations...and keep in mind these are just my opinions based on my experience...no hard and fast rules here:
Positives: -It does ALOT to remove anxiety about sex if you're not completely on the same page, but are good at working together and truly want to make things work. LDS knows what and when so he/she can do whatever they need to prepare and make it positive. HDS (me) knows when so there's no anxiety about "if" it will happen or "when" will I get it again.
-Gives us a sense of accomplishment, a potential problem we've solved constructively. Eliminates a lot of frustration that builds up over not having the HDS physical needs met, frustration that often bleeds over into other issues or causes other issues.
-It's kind of fun, an event (we call it "Happy Tuesday", etc.), and a private joke. Seems to lighten things up a little.
-LDS often ends up in the mood or happy about it even though they would have never gone looking for it to begin with, so it results in some closeness and good feelings. Otherwise, she might turn me down if she's not in the mood, but since it's "on the schedule", she's committed to following through, and is often happy she did.
-LDS learns to give as a gift; HDS learns to accept as a gift and doesn't require it to be a totally mindblowing experience for the LDS every time. Now, as an HD, to me it's always superterrifichappyhour...I don't think I could ever turn my wife down.
Right now, in our sitch, the positives are outweighing the drawbacks, which in my opinion include lack of romance, lack of spontaneity. But it's only been a couple of weeks, and that stuff needs to grow out of a general lack of intimacy we've experienced for years, so that will take a while. However, I believe that since we're working on those things outside the bedroom, they will end up influencing what happens in the bedroom. Also, this schedule eliminates a possible point of contention and distraction while we work on some of the more pressing issues that, again, we hope will make ML even better.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
