I have attached my nephew's eulogy and begin a sentence in CAPS, an area about myself and relationships. Do you think I should say this and it won't offend or anger my wife? Listed below is the condensed version. PLEASE COMMENT TO MY COMMENT LISTTED IN CAPS.
Steven's Eulogy
For the last 12 years or so of Steven’s short life, he couldn’t walk. Now that may be an odd and strange way to begin a eulogy, and I would agree with you. In fact, it sounds crazy to begin a eulogy this way. It’s not so crazy though since I am the one who wrote it, which tells you a lot about me. However, there is a reason for beginning it this way and I will revisit that when I close my eulogy with an added remark, and then it will, I hope for many of you, make sense, so please bear with me.
I have thought about Steven a lot over the past week and I have learned a lot about Steven this past week, more then I ever knew before during his lifetime. This was a boy who I never heard complain, feel sorry for himself, didn’t blame anyone or God for his misfortune or ever utter “why me or why did this happen to me?” Based on what was told to me by Richard, his father, Steven was a boy who never said an unkind word about anybody and when I always saw him, he was always smiling. You would all have to agree that Steven had a positive attitude. And in all the struggles Steven had to endure, I ask myself, how is it possible for someone to go through life with all the physical problems he had and be the kind of person he was?
This was a boy who had the inner strength, heart and courage of a lion. A strength so strong, that for me personally, I am light years behind him. And I think about where did he find such courage and strength? First and foremost he had to get that strength from Jesus. Secondly, he also got this from his parents, Therese and Richard. As their parents, I never heard them complain either, so they set a great example for Steven.
"THERESE shared with me in the hospital about a situation that happened at her church a few weeks ago. A man approached Steven and said to him, “Thank you for Saving my Life.” Steven and Therese looked at him wondering why this man would say that. The man didn’t elaborate of what caused his pain and why he was suffering other then to say, “I have suffered from depression for many years of my life, but when I saw your son in a wheelchair every week in church, he was always smiling. And the man said to himself, “Why am I so miserable?” One never knows how much or how long this man was suffering from depression. Was he at a point to take his own life and hurt those who loved him too? How many others did Steven help during his lifetime we will never know, but I believe he helped a lot of people. And he helped these people by just being himself. And that brings up my next point about children. The thing that comes to mind is to love and cherish our children. "CHILDREN are a precious gift from God and they should be loved for just who they are, not who you want them to be or who you think they should be. We should all be treated this way. It makes us feel good when we are treated this way." (I HAVE SAID TO MY WIFE IN THE PAST THAT IT HURTS ME THAT PEOPLE DO NOT ACCEPT ME).
"STEVEN was not a proud person at all but a very humble person, something we all should strive for. Therese also shared with me that when Steven got upset or angry at someone, he was quick to apologize for his behavior. He would call the person to come to him because he had to and tell that person just how sorry he was. Not to do so, would be an act of pride. And you could never say a dirty word around Steven. If you did, he would correctly tell you “That wasn’t nice or that was wrong, now you should go to confession.” That is the kind of inner strength he exemplified. Wasn’t Jesus a humble person? He came into this world born in a stable, not a way we would expect a king to enter the world. If that’s not a sign of humility, then I don’t know what is. In man’s way of thinking, a king should come into this world born in a luxurious setting, surrounded by dukes and dignitaries and honored for who they are. But that is not how Jesus entered this world. In the gospel, Jesus states that to enter the kingdom of heaven, one must have the heart of a child. I believe that means that children are innocent and humble and that is the way to enter heaven. Steven knew that more then most people and its something we should learn too. Not just learn it, but practice it and live it, just the way Steven did." (AGAIN, I HAVE TOLD MY WIFE SHE IS NOT A HUMBLE PERSON).
"STEVEN passed into heaven on October 28, 2006. I found out about it the following day on October 29th, my birthday. Selfishly, I felt cheated this way and once again began to feel sorry for myself. So as you can see, I have much self-improvement work ahead of me. However, this past Wednesday, I decided to turn this into a positive. I am actually fortunate to find out about Steven going into heaven on my birthday. Why? Because now I will always remember that day as the day I found out my nephew went to heaven. I will be able to recall just who Steven was and what he meant to so many people. It will be a constant reminder to me to become the loving husband, father, son and brother I should be because I want to be a better man. I want to be able to be this person where it becomes 2nd nature for me so I don’t have to even think about it, just let it come naturally. I’m not there yet, but that is one of my goals." (A MESSAGE TO MY WIFE THAT MY GOAL IS TO CHANGE).
To close, people will say that Steven was taken much too soon by God, and its perfectly understandable to say that. I’ve said it myself. Steven is no longer suffering but it’s the people he left behind who are in pain. Right now, Therese and Richard need our love and support as much as possible. Steven overcame his physical challenges to touch those around him and that is something to celebrate. Steven, I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for teaching me so much about life. I hope you all have learned something from Steven too. And to get back to my opening remarks, Steven was a boy who couldn’t walk for the last 12 years or so of his life. But now, not only is he walking, he is flying amongst the angels in heaven. Let us be successful to, like Steven, and let us strive to get to heaven too.
I love you Steven, we all love you, and we will forever miss you during our time here on earth. God Bless all of you.
Love,
Uncle Rocky
Given this day, in the year of our Lord, November 4, 2006 at our Lady of the Mountain Church.
