Unhappy have you ever read "Love Life for Every Married Couple", by Dr. Ed Wheat? It is the first book I got even before DR and DB. This book talks all about intimacy and what you said about it sometimes being all wrapped up in things that have nothing to do with sexual intimacy. It is written from a Christian perspective, which I find helpful. Sometimes women have a hard time getting in the mood if there is stuff yet to be done, like housework. I couldn't care less about housework, which is unfortunately one of my H's complaints about me, but I am trying to at least keep the house fairly clean, now. But sleep, is one of the things that was a problem with us. My H would want to be intimate after I was already in bed asleep, after he had watched tv late, exercised and otherwise found stuff to keep himself busy. Now I have learned to put that all aside, and he comes to bed earlier, thank goodness. And when he doesn't, I try to go to bed earlier so I can get a decent night's sleep. of course there's always the morning. If she feels she is being used, then try some of the stuff in this book. Don't tell her to do her wifely duties, that might make her even less apt to do so. Do you help her around the house? Do a task that she hates to do, and see if she appreciates that, but don't tell her you did it just to get some later. Some women also really like for their H to initiate intimacy most of the time or even all the time. It doesn't always mean they don't want it. I am learning to initiate sometimes, too. Good Luck to you, I hope what you are doing helps. L
