Rocco--prayers to your nephew. VC, I'll keep my fingers crossed and Unhap, keep up your stuff, as VC said.
BTW, yes parts of my childhood sucked but by no means was it all "Hell". guys, just wanted you to know that my sisters and I are Very close, as are some of the boys and 8 out of 9 ain't bad. Seriously, my dad drank too much but that doesn't sum him up; he was also a man who tried hard, when sober, to do the right thing, and he was in many ways, a great man. He was complicated. My siblings are all very witty, 3 of us do stand up comedy. Growing up we had a lot of laughter in the home, and music/art from my mother. She painted and played the piano and built us a tree house...my dad paid us to read classic books and give oral reports/(i.e., speak in front of people)---4 of us are lawyers, but don't hold that against us....
I had done forgiveness work for a long time, with my dad. So when he was dying of cancer in a hospital room, and asked for forgiveness from me, I meant it when I said "you are forgiven." It was THE most spiritual moment of my life.
Today, my family gets together often, the sisters (and mom) speak almost daily no matter where we live, and I've been able to take my mom on cruises and trips overseas, b/c I owe her so much, and she is hilarious. I have so many friends who LOVE my family and wish theirs was as close....don't feel sorry for me....I am at peace and am grateful my family wasn't so "normal." Yep, things bad happened and I sure won't do those things to my kids. But please, I am NOT unfortunate, or saddled by sad memories of the past...nor do I see myself as "overcoming" some huge adversity to accomplish what I have...seriously, look at Africa and the Middle East... I thank God I live where and when I live...
I say all this "happy" stuff, to balance what I shared earlier. NOT due to any shame, either. I just cannot stand to hear people who got hurt then choose to STAY hurt....I went to some adult child of alcoholics meetings and saw a guy from work there and we spoke, it was the holidays and he had an issue...about 5 years later I saw him at another meeting with the SAME exact issue....I just don't want to ever be like that guy---No progress over decades of life----Still blaming parents for their failures, real or perceived---and just STUCK forever... Anyone know what I'm talking about?
I like support groups at times of crisis and self discovery, and I LOVE this type of bb support group for ongoing work too. But that's b/c most people here ARE working on our lives.....But sometimes we just get bogged down in our victim labels - and I see SO MUCH of that in Rocco's words, I guess i want to warn others to watch for this...it is No way to live...let alone to be happy.
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
