Rocco, listen to mlc. You can't blame your W for your suicide attempt. That is a cruel thing to put on her. I realize your feelings about her and all the problems you have are a part of it, but don't blame her for that. When my sisters H killed himself, his parents blamed his eleven year old D, because she didn't try to stop him. He pushed her out the door and locked her out, but still they blamed her. It's not fair to blame someone else for that. It also sounds to me like she has been overwhelmed for years and probably burned out from having to run things for so long. You yourself said that you had no interest in helping around the house, so she did it all, and did it her way for a long time, so it may be natural for her to have been a little resentful of you coming along to take over again. This sometimes happens whe men come back from years in Iraq, they want to jump back in and do things their way as soon as they get back home, and their W's have been doing things themselves for all that time. I am sorry you are so afraid of your W, but you have to get over it, will she kill you? No,I don't think so. Ask her how she wants things done, if you don't know how to do them.. Don't tell her directions, if you don't know them either, if she doesn't have a sense of humor when you get lost. You really have to put this stuff behind you, and move forward. All these things you repeat about what your W has done are like weights around your neck, and who can move with all that hanging around their neck? I could tell you are passive aggressive, you punish her in subtle ways that make you feel that There I got her! But it hurts you, too when you do that. I will be waiting to see what your DB coach has for you to do. I hop you will follow the advice you get. L
