mlc, I agree with you that we all have to take responsibility for our own lives and actions. I, too grew up in a large family, I am one of seven, my father was an alcoholic, my parents divorced when I was little and my mother married a man who adopted us, and then abused us in that way and physically, and emotionally, too. I remember going to school with huge belt imprints on my legs and butt. We never told anyone, because nothing would be done anyway. I was put in a children's home while my parents fought a two year custody battle, then I was sent away for good at fourteen, and became a part of the system. I consider myself fairly healed and I take full responsibility for all my actions, even though these childhood things shaped who I am. I forgave my stepfather for what he did, and my mother for allowing it. Not all my siblings have. I am a very optimistic person, ans always like to see the bright side of anything, although I do feel alot of despair over my situation with my M. I feel alot of the time that our M is going to be saved, but other times I have to fight the hopeless feelings, and the crying jags, and the utter sadness that makes me have to go sleep for some relief. I, also didn't turn out to be an alcoholic, even though it runs in the family, I didn't turn out to hurt my child, and most people think I am fairly nice. So, I hope my natural optimism will help me here. I think it will. L
