Unhappy, my H always gives me his paycheck and then asks me to hold out some money for him, when I go to the bank. I do this with no questions asked, even though he does talk about me controlling the money. But that's because I pay all the bills and keep up with the finances. He works extra jobs sometimes and keeps all that money without having to tell me where he spends it. Although I found out he sent ow flowers on her birthday, and bought her flowers and gifts on Valentine's Day. He knows I know and I told him that I had been using the florist that he used to send ow flowers, for more than twenty years, and it is embarassing that we are in their computer with us sending flowers and fruit to family and friends, and him in the computer as my H sending another w flowers. Maybe your W is afraid if she loosens the purse strings, you will do stuff like that, too. maybe not, but be sure to always be honest with her about everything you are doing and never be evasive. Thanks for saying it looks like I am turning things around, I need encouragement. I had my first C session today. I really like the counselor, and think he can help me. Sometimes I realize that God has His hand in our lives whether we know it or not. More than twenty years ago, I looked in the yellow pages for a preacher to talk to, because I was spiritually confused. I picked out one church and called the preacher. We talked for a long time and then set up Bible study, After a few months, he introduced us to a preacher whose church was much closer to us, and we started Bible study with him. After about six months or so, he one night asked me what was stopping me from being baptized. I said nothing and off we all went to the church. I have never regretted the decision. Now here I am just a week and a half ago, looking through the yellow pages for a MC. I looked at one name only and called it and talked to the C. Well, today I found out he is a member of the same church, only in a different city, and guest lectures at churches, but had never lectured at our church. I really believe God led me to him, why else would the only name I looked at in all the phone book turn out to be of the same spiritual mind as me? So, anyway God works in mysterious ways. Our preacher who has since moved to another church, and his W love the story of how I came to be saved through the yellow pages.
Just a small story for yall to see the power of God in our lives.
Unhappy, I want to know how your w is reacting to the new things you are doing. I bet she is sitting up and taking notice. I agree with the advice you gave Rocco, about enlisting the aid of the children to help, I have done that with our S to try to pull H back into the family, and make him not feel alienated from us, such as getting his opinion on stuff and getting him interested in things S is interested in. Hey, what ever helps. L