Hey Rocco. Don't be consumed with guilt. By your own admission you acted in accordance with many people's advice in contacting the police (lawyer, priests, therapists). And the situation is working itself out. Look, your wife is aware or she is becoming aware that its showtime in your marriage - time for change or time for moving on. Your actions are a part of the process you both are going through. You did not betray her, you are acting in the best interests of everyone. Believe in your course and stick to it, don't second guess it by feeling guilty.
Rocco, you are saying that you don't know why she doesn't file. Is the destiny of your marriage her decision? Do you want her to be in control until the end, whenever that is? Ask yourself - do you want to ride along and wait for her to do what she is going to do, or do you want to take the helm for your own life? You are wondering about separation - make a list of pros and cons, talk it over with the DB coach and your therapists. Make a list of goals and an action plan and act on your plan. Don't just wonder and wait for someone else's decision, follow a process to make your own decision. You are here, speaking out, and starting the process. You know it needs to change, and that the past will not get it anymore. Plan the future, establish some dreams and pursue them. This will pass.
