Rocco, stop secong guessing yourself. DYFS is going to get involved now, they have to. It will be a good thing. I would be careful who I told about doubling meds, too. I am sure the police know you only called back out of fear. So, let it happen, she will have to get some help, and you and your kids should have some peace of mind, too. Unhappy may be right, this could save your M. She may finally have to recognize her faults in this, and obviously if she cried for you last year, she has some feelings left. Maybe she doesn't know how bad she is, or maybe she just can't control it. My H has told me many things I did or said over the years, and some of them really made me think how I was behaving needed to change, because they were hurtful things. He said I made him feel dumb, even though never said he was dumb, actually I always told him he is smart, but part of what he is going through is a MLC, and he doesn't always see things clearly. Now I am not saying that to defend anything bad I have done or said, just to show that not everything has been as bad as he believes right now. I went through some tough stuff, like I was five months pregnant, and found out the baby had died, then a few years later, my father died. I was verey depressed, and sometimes I felt so alone, and my H didn't seem to be there to comfort me, although he defends it by saying that he drove me to the funeral. Well, of course that isn't what I meant. But, I went through some length of time where I was so sad and neglected him and our M. He thought I hated him (I didn't, not ever), would come stand in the doorway, we were in separate rooms, and would ask why I was so mean. I would say that he made me that way. he said he would go and cry and if I had ever come after him, I would have seen this. I felt so horrible when he told me this, I wanted the ground to swallow me up. I did a lot of soul searching and praying, and I asked for his forgiveness, but he says he doesn't know if he can ever forgive me. So, I have forgiven him his EA, but he won't forgive me, and I am trying my best to change, we are in the same bed for the first time in many many years, and I am giving him the affection he wants and needs, I am telling him and showing him how much I care about him and appreciate him. I send him notes in his lunch everyday, I hug and kiss him when he gets home in the evening. I snuggle with him when we watch tv. I defer to him on stuff now, ask his opinion on things, instead of just doing them. He may still be seeing the ow, but it isn't because I am not going what I am supposed to do as a wife. I think he has also changed the secret cell phone number, so I will think he has had it disconnected. So, I don't know if he is enjoying this new me, but still planning on leaving me for ow or not. I am hoping that he will start pulling away from her when he sees that we can have a great marriage, and that I will never be that mean, neglectful person ever again. So, you see Rocco, while I have never been physically abusive to him or our child,my H sees what I did in just as bad a light as you do your wife. I agree with him, but I also say that a wake up call may be the thing for her to see herself truly for the first time, like the discovery of an EA was a wake up call for me. Did they tell you when they would start to investigate? If you had to go to your mother's, could you? Would your job let you have time off to deal with this? Unhappy, I am glad that you started walking away from he verbal abuse. What did she do, what was the look on her face? Was she shocked that you actually got up and left the room? You are right to tell Rocco to trust his inner voice, I don't think he trusts anything right now. L
