Thank you for listening. This is a great place to vent. Both of my kids are closer to my W than me. S is 11, D is 9 and they both have ADHD, but my Son has a more severe case.
When she hits him in the face again, I will tell her that I am not comfortable with hitting. Of course she will blame me because she takes no accountability for her actions. When she hits him again, Do you think I should call the Police? I have a small tape recorder that fits in my pocket, so do you think I should keep it handy when she has one of her temper tantrums?
I am very sorry about your Mother's passing. That is so sad. Worse, she didn't allow your children to say goodbye to their gradmother.
My w tried to pull that same crap with me about a month ago when my uncle died. It was my Mom's brother and my mom now has had to bury both her parents (her dad was killed by a hit & run driver while he was walking, and they never found the guy when my mom was 10), and all 5 of her siblings.
My w calls me at work and tells me she doesn't like going to funerals and reminded me of that because she had a bad experience when she was 16 when she went to her first funeral. She's OK with the mass, but doesn't want to view the body. Then she adds, I will drop you off at the funeral parlor and the kids and I will be at the church. That pissed me off.
Ayway, when I got home, I talked to my children about the funeral process and my wife butts in and says "They are not going to the viewing." I turned and said to her "You know, these are my kids too and they are old enough to make up their mind." I explained the viewing, and my son was adament that he wanted to play game cube that day (which was a Saturday). I told him that was not an option and we are going.
I first started to explain about viewing the body. I told them that the viewing is a way for people to say goodbye to their loved ones and out of respect for grandma. I told them that they did not have to approach the casket, they could sit in the back or even go outside if they chose to. My daughter asked some simple questions, such as what does the body look like, and I said its like they are asleep, much like when the cat died a few months ago. She asked if the body is ugly and I said no, it has makeup. She asked if she ever did it before and I said no. So she said, then I want to go. I said, OK, but remember, you can change your mind and not have to see your uncle, if you decide at the last minute you don't want to. I was very clear about that. I then explained that their will be a short mass, then their will be buried and then it will be a luncheon to celebrate that their loved one is in heaven.
The day of the funeral, I again told my kids they didn't have to approach the casket, and told them it was a closed casket since I was at the Wake the nite before. When we got to the funeral parlor, my daughter decided not to and told me she was afraid to so I told her that was ok and she didn't have to.
That evening my wife was angry at me because I forced my son to go. I said, I didn't force him to go, but out of respect, he had to go to show support for my mom. She said, no, you forced them to go to the viewing to approach the casket. I said, no, you were not listening then because I told them 3 times they didn't have to approach the casket and that they were old enough to go to the wake. I could tell she wanted an apology from me. The family still wants me to apologize to my BIL. In all honesty, I will not apologize and I would have rather been in the World Trade Center on 9/11 then apologize to these people.
I do pray, but its more then I can take right now. I know I need to be patient, but its not easy as you can imagine. I realize I married a 3 year old who still has temper tantrums.
Thanks for caring. I sometimes wonder if I should just divorce her and be done with it. My W and her family have crushed my self-esteem and I am working to get that back.
I still wish to save this marriage and I know changes need to be made, but I will not tolerate her bad behavior. I have been ignoring her evil comments but how much should I ignore. For example, one Saturday last month she said we need to do some yard work. I said, OK, I will be out in a minute as soon as I finish breakfast. She was outside trimming the hedges with my children. I said to her, I will start in the back yard and weed out the flower garden and the swingset area. Her response to me was "I don't give a F%%% what you do!" I ignored her. But should I ignore her, especially since her comments are in front of the kids." Thankfully, my kids don't swear, YET.
The next day, I am cleaning out the fridge while she went to pick up a couple of freinds of my kids for a play date. She calls me and tells me that they are eating lunch out and will be going to Rita's (its an ice cream parlor) and wanted to know if I wanted anything. I said sure, I thanked her and requested italian ice.
What's more weird about her behavior, she makes me dinner every night. I can't figure out what she is doing.
