I will get that book you suggested "Nasty People." Boy your W and my W could be twins. Its all about her too and she loves to validate her behavior. When I told her to stop hitting me, she tells me its my fault because I stress her out and make her do it.
She is like a time bomb and sees nothing wrong with her behavior and will not be accountable for her actions. She is 42 years old and has not grown up and gets into these terrible temper tantrums, much like a 3 year old who can't get his/her way. She feels she has to be in charge and control every situation. I have been miserable for 15 of the last 19 years we were married. Ever since we bought our house in 1991, then it got progressively worse after my son was born in 1995. I pretty much kept it in denial hoping things would get better. It only got worse.
Keep praying because that is the only source of strength I get otherwise I would fall apart. I actually am hoping that eventually, her temper will get her into trouble with the law. Maybe only then they will force her to get the help she needs. Of course her family is blind to it and sees nothing wrong in her behavior.
I have begun to distance myself from her family because hanging around them is an emotional suicide. Hang in there.
