Boy your story is similar to mine I could have written that myself. I am also married to a controlling person. The kind of husband my wife wants would be similar to a dog. You know, roll over, sit, stand, play dead. She has belittled me in front of my famiy and her own family. She also lays the blame game like it 100% my fault. She has hit me in front of my kids (currently ages 11 & 9) but stopped when I finally told her to never touch me again in anger. She swears at me worse then a truck driver. We have been to counseling on 3 separate occassions but she would only go once or twice because she can't take constructive critizism. My therapist told me once about 9 years ago that with my W, its either her way or the highway for me. I get it worse because her family also sees it that way and my W and her family see her as a martyr.
Like you, my parish priest told me I should divorce her because I have suffered physical, emotional and mental abuse. It got so bad, that this past June I tried to commit suicide. My W and her family has not accepted me for over 12 years in the 19 years I have been married.
They all feel its their right to somehow to improve me. My W needs therpy according to my therapist because she has many issues that are unrelated to me. He also told me that my W suffers from partial border personality disorder and recommeded a book called "Stop walking on eggshells." I haven't read it yet but my library is getting it for me. You might want to read the same book.
Now why I would stay in this marriage? My W has slapped my son in the face hard when she gets angry. If I'm not there to take the brunt of it, I fear for my son's well being. On a number of occassions, she has told me that if I want to make this marriage work, I need to do this, that and the other, if you get my meaning. She doesn't have to do anything.
She has found fault with everything I do and now, we are sleeping in separte bedrooms, that was her choice but I think its for the best.
I am distancing myself from her family because a few of them actually get mad and yell at me if I don't agree with their opionion. My father-in-law is always bringing up the topic of catholics and their relegion and gets mad at me because I don't agree with him that the Gospels and story of Jesus is full of crap. I get the same abuse because I vote different then the rest of them, including my W. If I have a difference of opinion, my W will call me "F___in Stupid."
Its been very hard for me and I suggest that you pray a lot like me. I pray that Jesus will protect me and avenge me against them.
