I think he was for years relieved that I took over paying bills, and keeping up with things and making small decisions, because he didn't have to worry about them. he says I acted like I was smarter than him. I always told him he was smart, but he persisted in saying I thought I was smarter. He now says I acted like he was stupid. I never said that, ever. But somehow, he got that impression. I used to express my disapproval for things he did that I didn't like, or firends that I didn't care for, like some who were still into drugs, and some I just didn't care for, but I never said he couldn't see them, but he didn't like that they didn't come over to the apartment or our house. I Never said it was my way or the highway, if he put his foot down, I would comply. But he almost never put his foot down. I guess I was over critical, and he used those words, beaten down to describe himself. The only time a big decision was disagreed on was our house. He wanted all brick and I didn't care, I wanted a house in a great, safe location. He wanted those things, too, but when we saw this house, we both fell in love with it, and wouldn't you know it is siding. He told me recently, he didn't want a house with siding, but he didn't say anything back then about not getting this house. Now we have siding issues. I told him he was right, that brick would have been better. So, I think he blames me for that problem, too, but he seemed to want this house, too. Mostly our decisions center around our S, we usually agree on discipline, except he said I would step in and defend our S against him sometimes. I told him that I hoped he noticed that I have backed off that, and let them deal with it themselves. So, He tells me to go ahead with stuff like where we go on vacations, and things like that, he will put in his opinion, and I will go from there. I can argue very well, though, and he says you can't win an argument with me. I told him I didn't want to win any more arguments, I just wanted to be a good wife. I have, whenever he has told me of something else he has remembered from overe the years, that I was sorry about it, and I would always seek to do better. I know I have failed as a Christian wife, and that I have begged his forgiveness. He said he doesn't know if he will ever be able to forgive me. I am grateful he is still going to church with us, so I am hoping something the preacher or one of the teachers says, will make him see that he should try to forgive me and let me make it up to him and work on our M. I am just at a point where I don't know how to talk to him, except to apologize or say I am trying, or to say I will spend the rest of my life making it up to him. If your wife was to step back and allow you to be the leader of the family, how would you react? My H has said maybe he should have put his foot down long ago, I agree whole heartedly. I now wish he had. L
