Quote: How do I express my desire for H without it looking like too little, too late or that I am being desparate and needy?
Have you ever expressed yourself sexually in a desperate or needy way? I'm trying to imagine what that would look like. I know this can be difficult because I do remember before the divorce wanting to be desired by my husband, but not having his interest and not knowing how to inspire it. I remember buying some sexy things, but feeling much too intimidated to wear them or feeling silly about the whole thing. That's probably what you mean by desperate. I can understand that.
Unfortunately, the only way I got to this point was divorce. And sadly that's how I've noticed other women getting to this too. Sometimes it's these life changing experiences that allow us to grow in unexpected ways.
I guess out of something really painful came something good. Anyhow, for me becoming a more "sexual" person meant getting rid of old ugly underware and replacing it with sexy stuff. Buying attractive clothing and looking less like "soccer mom" and more like a "sexy woman."
Sadly, it wasn't my husband that made me feel desired, but going out with girlfriends during my divorce, actually looking at other men (I'm oblivious to them during marriage!), and finally realizing that other men found me attractive and sexy that made me feel this way. Even though I didn't date other men, just walking into a Starbucks and having them turn around and stare, or smile at me and say something.... that is what made me feel more confident. Somehow my husband noticed the difference, and for the first time ever he actually became jealous!!!!
I don't know how this can be translated to your husband. I think just being sexy in general (without having to date others) is something that can be done. Even being slightly flirty with husband and even men in general (in a harmless way) can make you feel more attractive and confident.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
