Quote: You did this most excellent introspective thinking. This led you to really feel as though you could be direct and simply tell W lovingly that you weren't up for sex and it would be OK. So, (1) you didn't feel coerced in your old passive aggressive way and, more important, (2) you felt the great feeling of intimacy that comes with understanding you can be truly direct and open with your W, which led to you feeling a bit randy That kind of intimacy is a remarkable aphrodisiac, to both men and women, how wonderful it has made its way into your M.
Yep, that about expertly summs it up OT. I would have to say that my really trying to figure out what I WANTED rather than what my current emotional/energy level was also played a large role. Truthfully, I didn't know how my being direct about how I felt would go over (since it was a weekend night and all) but I do know that my decision to be "open" to MLing was not because I was afraid of saying no, it was because I realized that my feelings for my W were more important/powerful than a few minutes of fatigue and "down" that I was feeling.
This idea, that all this time I had been doing VERY little to "get up" to the task, kills me. I would, at the slightest whim, allow myself to pass up intimacy and then blame it on her.
I no longer want to do that.
Also, I have been direct with her on a couple occasions and expressed that I was tired, etc. She has been fine with it.
One other thing she has been "ok" with (and was that night) is the idea that I am direct with her about being tired and that, shall we say, she will have to do a lot of the "work", something I WOULD NEVER HAVE SAID...nor would she likely have done, lol.
It is REALLY nice in general to be able to talk about this stuff openly. Remember, this is a HUGE change from the past where the topic of our SL was NEVER something we discussed.
