My W did something last night that I don't remember her doing...well...maybe ever.
She was tired from the night before when I had a job and she was left to look after the boys and clean the entire house. She tried to get it all done so we could have the day on Sunday to do something fun as a family. She was in a great mood when I got home on Saturday and in another first, actually THANKED me for going out and trying to earn a bit more money for Christmas. Usually she is not only unappreciative, but resentful that I go out, even if it's to work. I was SO happy to hear that and thanked her as well for her work in the house, as I always do (I express love in my secondary language of Words of Affirmation...guess she's finally learning to do so as well).
Anyway, long story short, yesterday morning she woke up in a mood. She said she was just tired but I didn't let it go. I was a bit of an a$$ because I really hoped she would be as "positive" as she was the night before. Expectations will kill you 100% of the time. Luckily for me, I recognized what was happening and pulled myself up pretty quickly.
The funny part was that she was beat all day, and into the night. When she came to bed at around midnight, sex was the...well, maybe not the LAST thing on my mind, but I was not trying at all. I knew she was tired and probably wanted a break (sorry ya'll, it's been VERY frequent for the past month+, much more so than ever in our R before). After I gave her a back-rub and was winding down, she rolled over and directly asked me for sex. WOW. I was shocked and actually told her so. I said I was trying to be nice and give it a rest. She smiled and the rest is history.
I guess all this time, ten years or thereabout, I have been dead wrong about my W. She seems to have a greater drive than I do and it's not a recent development. She seems to have wanted this all along and NOT getting it was the first seed that was planted in her "falling out of love" with me.
Damn if this wasn't the biggest communication gap in history. Two people wanting the same thing all this time. Damn, all that lost time.
CM, at least in my case, my intimacy issues were much more about being afraid to express myself than not knowing how to be intimate. Once I learned to just be direct and open to my W, the rest came relatively easily. I knew what to do, it was the getting there that was the problem.
