Quote: Great news! And it is really great you are posting about it. If you can help other men at least question whether they really know their wives sexually, you will be helping a lot of women and marriages.
Well, I hope so. Like I said, part of me feels bad, like I'm rubbing it in, or trying to say I now know it all. I'm not, and I don't but I do know a lot of things because of this experience that I can't help but think are somehow universal, especially where our "sitches" are concerned.
Quote: I don't have time to make a long post, but it all goes back to a lot of women feeling trapped in a false sexuality because they fake Os, don't want to injure the male ego, need to be "good" women, etc... This is not all the fault of the Hs, but the Hs can help A LOT with the problem, as you are finding :-)
I TOTALLY agree. I was going to post something in response what I thought you may ask/suggest about my W's exuberance. I was going to post that there are some things you can't fake (won't go into detail but I think you can use your imagination) and if she's faking anything, well, she's REALLY good at it. Hell, there's no reason, or very little reason for her to anymore because she knows she doesn't have to. She seems VERY willing to make sure she's satisfied.
One of the things (to get a little more graphic/detailed about it) that has been a 180 is that my W now asks me to do certain things I didn't even think she liked. She even asked me to "do" for her and I don't think she had any intention of returning the favor...at least not right then. I had NO problem with that and you know what, she DID return the favor.
If this is the woman my W truly is, has always been inside, then I can see why she would have been miserable in our "old marriage". She even said to me "It's great to see you're not afraid to ---- me." Wow. Did I mention wow?
I guess to her, all these years it must have felt like I was afraid. I was SO timid because of all my years being trained to think I needed explicit permission to be intimate with a woman. I think this one aspect of my thinking almost surely killed off 95% of my W's drive. She even tried to tell me that many times but she miscommunicated (or I just didn't hear her) and said that she wanted me to be the instigator all the time. That's not what she wanted, she wanted me to WANT her in a very real and visceral way, a way that I was incapable of expressing a year ago.
I have found that I can set my W free to be the woman she wanted to be all this time but had given up on ever being with me. I can't blame her and she has to be the most surprised of all to see that not only can I be that (because I DO feel that way about her, always have) but I can do it with a flair that she didn't expect.
As for her feeling trapped in a false sexuality, I think that WAS the case but no more. I think she is now expressing her true identity in that respect. As for faking it, well, I KNOW she faked it last night (the FIRST time, lol) but I think that was more because she thought it added excitement to my experience rather than she thought I NEEDED her to.
I could continue to get more detailed but suffice it to say that the proof is in the pudding and there is a TON of pudding around my house these days...um...er...ick...sorry.
