Welp, this is another point where I wonder how much good news to post. I feel bad that so many of you are not in as good a place as I seem to be but I can only hope that my positive experience can help in some way.
Over the weekend, and really for the past couple weeks, my W has been a different woman. I think I can honestly say that she/we were never this way before. I really think there is a lot of truth to the thought she had that we were never "in love", or at least that we didn't express it with unbridled passion. We got married much more because we were great together in general and the sex/intimacy was ok too. It was never a raging love affair. It is now. Our intimacy level has always been low so I am still in shock at how a little "priming" of my W has resulted in a 180 of such magnitude. I hate to rub it in but not only did we get "intimate" twice yesterday (well, 2 1/2 but I won't go into detail), but once it was her initiation...IN THE MORNING no less!!! We have NEVER done that before, and with the kids playing in the room outside our locked door! A quickie??? From MY W??? Will wonders never cease.
Anyway, back to the point I have been making since all this started. I never had a CLUE how right OT and some of the other women here were. MY W WAS NOT THIS WOMAN TO ME before. She was NOT the woman who liked to be "taken" nor EVER the woman to initiate ML at 8:00am on a Sunday with the kids within earshot but she is that now and much, much more. It's to the point now where I am struggling to keep up.
Sure, I have thought about the idea that it could be overcompensation for what we went through, but I don't think so. I really think this is who she wants to be in a R and when she spent 10 years being a reserved, almost prudish wife and mother, she broke, sending her almost on her way for good to a man who's only real positive attribute (her words) was that he brought this side out in her and she liked the hell out of it.
Like I said, just thinking about that, THEM, could send me into a funk but I just can't muster it. I am SO freaking happy with this way of life we have now. My W is no longer the sex-hating woman I thought I was married to. She's a direct, open, passionate, sexy woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid AT ALL to let me know.
For my part, I am SO much more comfortable with myself and my confidence has never been higher. That has 100% to do with this site and you all. The work I put in really paid off big time because there have been times when I would not have known how to handle myself, paralyzed by fear of rejection, doing the "wrong" thing, not doing the "right" thing, etc. Now I just do what I want, what I know SHE wants and we have achieved an intimacy level, throughout our entire life now, that I never imagined possible.
It's not been ALL perfect. There was a time last week (and a few other times but this one was the best example) when I felt a shift, not anything major at all, but just a slight cooling of her mood. The old me would have been on edge, wondering why she seemed distant, less interested in being close. There's where reading pays off. I remembered in Mars/Venus it talked about sometimes women are on a wave, rising and falling in terms of their desire for certain things. I just let it go, in effect detaching from her mood.
Turns out that she was getting sick and it had nothing to do with me or not wanting to be close to me. It had all to do with her and how she felt. Like I said, the old me would have at least made an issue of it by getting all quiet or pulling away from her. Now I simply waited, going about my business and guess what, we ML that night pretty much at her insistence! Even she was surprised, saying something like "I don't know where this is coming from, I never used to be this way but I just love it so much!"
Now I want to work even harder but not because I am afraid of losing her, or failure, but because I know we can be even better, or at least sustain this for longer than a couple weeks.
Yes, there is still the possibility of tough times ahead but with any luck at all, it's the kind of tough times that require a little blue pill and not a stack of paperwork.
but not only did we get "intimate" twice yesterday (well, 2 1/2 but I won't go into detail), but once it was her initiation...IN THE MORNING no less!!! We have NEVER done that before, and with the kids playing in the room outside our locked door! A quickie??? From MY W??? Will wonders never cease.
