Quote: My W seriously doesn't seem to want it that often, or as I said, maybe it was HOW she was getting it that was the problem.
Yes, HOW is a big problem. Unrewarding sex that is boring, even irritating and taxing, just makes the sex worse and breeds resentment like crazy.
However, it seems to be true among the women with whom I have spoken on the topic that more GOOD sex makes one want sex even more, while an absence of good sex leads to a dwindling libido. It is likely that your W (though she might be surprised by this) would find herself more aroused and into sex in the next couple of days than she would next weekend. (EGAD, this sounds like something out of one of those sleezy books advertised in the back of men's magazines about how to make your woman beg for more, lol.)
Of course, if you are both totally exhausted, sex can be a real turn off. So,it may be a little tricky. But, if you'll excuse me for saying so, it has always sounded to me as if the two of you have way too much TV time...
The one thing I can promise you is that going without sex for another month or two is not going to do positive things with respect to her libido.
Take your own (implicit) advice Grasshopper, really start with a beginner's mind here. It is great that you don't seem as sure as you did at one time about how things were between the sheets. You DON'T KNOW what she wants or how she will respond, but you are finding out and building intimacy while doing so. And maybe now you can begin to understand why your W wouldn't have been much interested in sex before...
Pin her to the wall, kiss her, and whisper in her ear that you couldn't stop thinking about _________ all day and how that affects you (in detail). Just *risk* it, because you are totally right about risks.
