Quote: Maybe by you doing everything, she doesn't feel needed and has lost her self worth....FWIW
First of all, thanks for the nice words. Sometimes I think my character on the internet is a little to good. Not that I am not being honest but there are aspects to me that are not so desirable too...anyway, like I said, thank you.
Now, I need to clarify this "me doing everything" stuff. Here's the breakdown and of course this is not set in stone. MANY times we do the things that usually the other does but here goes...
Me: 1) Get the kids ready for school 2) Go to work 3) Look after the kids in the afternoon/take S6 to practice 4) Clean the kitchen most nights (at least the dinner stuff, she usually CLEANS the kitchen later). 5) Help put the boys to bed. 6) Do my own laundry (she does all the ironing if needed) 7) Occasionally sweep/mop/vacuum or clean a bathroom.
Wife: 1) Takes the kids to school/picks them up. 2) Does most of the cleaning and for her, thats a daily process. She's a clean freak for sure. 3) Does her's and the kid's laundry, which is a TON. I sometimes help sort the kids' or put hers away. 4) She does 99% of the cooking. 5) Makes the boy's lunch/snack boxes. 7) Does their homework with them. 8) Helps put them to bed.
Like I think I said, it's not that she doesn't do anything, it's WHEN she does it that I sometimes take issue with. She waits until night, after the boys are in bed to do 4 hours worth of cleaning. I would either like to help (something she often refuses either because I worked all day or because she wants to do it herself) or have her do it during the day so we have "us" time at least once or twice a week. We do that now, but there is ALWAYS some kind of housework hanging over our head, waiting for the TV show to be over or whatever. Knowing my W, this will never be different. Cleaning is like a compulsion to her and you know what, I've learned to accept that. Hell, as a constant slob (not really but compared to her...) she's even reformed me so that I can't stand to let clutter/cleaning go for very long, lol.
I think the responsibilities are pretty equal, it's just that her choice of when to take care of her part bothers me a bit. I wish she could get some of this stuff done in the daytime. I truly believe there will come a time when she either gets a job and makes that a moot point, or gets help for her anxiety so that she can be home more often in the day.
