Yes, I am a great father and husband as far as "doing things" but I am also emotional and for the last several years, I have been very angry towards my kids especially, and my W. I also allowed my work-life/career TOTALLY overshadow my personal attention to my W. Sure, I did things around the house, but not nearly what I do now and that was when she had two kids at home. I suppose you could say I am trying to make up ground in that dept.
OH, and to interject, yes, OT gives GREAT advice!!!
My W did it all the first 4 years or so with the kids, me being gone at least 14 hours 3 maybe 4 times a week and occupied with other stuff on the weekends.
I guess like so many other people here, I am overcompensating for all my past inadequacies and sometimes, as OT recently pointed out, it's probably not "fair" but you know what, I am ok with that for now. I know things won't be this way forever.
You know, one of the things that comes with doing all this is an almost nauseating optimism. It's what causes a lot of failures around here because we refuse to accept the reality that our marriage are in the crapper.
That said, I am optimistic. I know there could be another bomb drop. She somehow could still be seeing him or just decide that this isn't working but for now, I am doing my part and most of the time, she's doing hers. We are both happier than we have been (with each other anyway) in years and that is a good thing. We just have to get over the other hurdles, the ones that brought us to this place, and then I think we'll be ok.
Again, the REAL work begins now and most of that for me is trying to be a BETTER dad and BETTER husband. It's all I can hope to do...along with take 100% responsibility for my own happiness.
