Ok, thanks for the clarification OT. Yes, I do think I resent her free time, and no, she does not do more than I think. She tells me what she does and it's not much. She shops, goes to the gym, has coffee, etc. She says she gets anxiety being home alone (which, BTW is why I thought it was funny that she was so adamant that she wanted to stay home on Sunday). Another reason I wish she would seek help for her panic/anxiety, etc.
As for us having set aside days to look after the boys while the other does "whatever", well, somehow she thinks that what she does in terms of the boys on a daily basis somehow affords her having me look after them anytime I am around, which is a lot.
I get them ready. She takes them to school (I do it once in awhile). She picks them up. 4:00-4:30 She is with them. 4:30-6:00 I usually take the little one with me when I take the big one to whatever practice he has. This is 4 nights a week. W stays home most of the time or joins us (her choice). Much of the time she cooks, 2-3 times a week including weekends we eat out. 6:00-6:45 or so, I bring them home and we have dinner. 6:45-7:00 or so I clean the kitchen. She usually lays down. 7:00-7:20 I give them a bath EVERY NIGHT. She may clean something or still be "resting". 7:20-8:00 We spend time with the boys together most nights, sometimes it's just me. It's almost never just her if I am in the house. 8:00 Bed time.
Of course, the times I am gone at night she does much of this herself and since I USED to be gone a lot, this was sometimes 3 times, on the extreme, 4 times a week but that was rare. The average was 2 times a week.
My point is that even by her admission, I am a GREAT husband in terms of what I do to "help" and that's in addition to working 40 hours a week at the "day job" and as much as 15-20 hours more on my wedding business. I have cut WAY back on my time away from home but I still work a lot.
I don't really know how much more I can do and for that matter, other than making up for lost time (i.e. revenge for all the nights she spent alone) I think the pendulum may need to swing in the other direction where I get free time FOR ME, even when it's the two of us at home because as it stands, if we are both home, it falls on my to do most of the stuff where the kids are concerned.
Thank you again for your comments.
I am SO glad to hear about the good times with the kid!
