Sounding very good, except this bit: "She did end up going with us to the park and though she was miserable some of the time, she ended up having a good time. We did some house work together when we got home and I think it was all good."
??????... though she was miserable some of the time... it was all good....?????????????
Huh?
OK, repeat after me.
1. W would like some alone adult time when she is free from child care and family duties, including being a W.
2. W would like some alone adult time when she is free from child care and family duties, including being a W.
3. It is important to W to have a true day off on a *consistent* basis.
4. It is selfish of me to consistently put my need for together family time above W's need for alone time.
5. While I enjoy weekend family time, I can do more to make quality family time during the week so that my needs are met in a way that also allows for W's needs to be met (including a whole day on a regular basis).
6. I can also do more to give W true time off at least two nights a week.
7. My W wanting alone time free from obligation is perfectly normal and healthy. I will not personalize it and take it as rejection, which ruins any alone time my W may manage to get because I wind up acting out in direct and indirect ways that pressure her and make her feel guilty. I will not manipulate my W by using her perfectionist streak as a mother and wife to get my way.
7. My W deserves space for healthy adult alone time in which she can just "be" and choose her own projects without me trying to manage her time so the *I* can claim more of it.
8. I find joy in supporting my W by working with her so that she can find some balance in her life that includes time that is truly hers and empowers her to find more happiness.
9. I will appreciate my alone time much more than I have and never again take for granted the sacrifice W makes in terms of alone time, the possibility of which is so small and seldom realized.
