I meant to respond to your post but got caught up in the other questions.
"Walking on eggshells"...rings a bell. "super-sensitive", too.
Are you referring to yourself or your wife?
the wife
Quote:
She complains that I don't communicate, don't let her in, etc, etc. typical guy, right? well, when I have "communicated", the result is her flying off the handle in response. and they wonder why we don't "communicate".
To me, I sense a dismissive theme in these comments. My guess is that if she says you don’t communicate, then you don’t, at least not in a language she can hear. That may be because she needs to be validated to support some false image she has of herself and she doesn’t want to hear anything less. As wrong as that may be, if you stop any communication, how will you ever help her to see her issues that are then impacting you? The communication needs to flow first, then it can tweaked into more appropriate language.
therein lies my problem. I can't seem to speak-a-de language. no comprendo. whatever attempts I make seem to turn out badly. you can't say the wrong thing if you don't say anything.
Quote: It said I was "dismissive". whatever that means...
Dismissive seems pretty appropriate to me.
can you explain to me how that is either good, bad, or indiferent?
Quote: Dr. Laura...hard to take seriously by anyone born after 1960; particularly, anyone female. There may be bits of truth to gleen from it, but the messenger makes it awfully hard to swallow.
I don’t understand this comment. What is special about 1960 as a cut-off point for accept Dr. Laura or not. Are you referring to your wife or you too? I can understand that Dr. Laura sounds threatening to women, but I don’t know why men would find her distasteful.
she comes off as quite sexist, and "judgy-wudgy". "holier-than-thou", judgemental, etc. I haven't read this book, but other stuff I've heard her say just makes me kind of shake my head in disgust. And I have to say, I'm not really sure I like the sound of that title, either. Its kind of funny, yeah...but kind of insulting, too. anyway, on another web board I used to frequent, that was almost entirely women of child-bearing age, she was bashed regularly for her apparently "sexist" attitudes, and this book, particularly. seems to me like its a "you'll catch more files with honey.." message. but why isnt' there also a "care and feeding of wives?" or is that covered in the book? does her message imply that the path to marital bliss is a one-way street? thats the kind of thing that turns people off in general... anyway, its kind of a moot point. W and I were talking about this yesterday, and she said she'd like to read it anyway. and maybe I should too, just to see if any of it rings true with me. according to W, my emotions are so burried, I don't even know what it is that I want.
