Quote: If my wife and I can hold to this idea of mutually serving each other to get back what we each want, I think some of the resentment can diminish, we can hold onto ourselves better, and put forth that calm, strong role model, at least that is my plan for now.
I see what you are saying, and I don't think it a particulary 'bad' idea... just been reading wrong a lot of what you have saying... what with all the 'justifications' you attach to it. Since I don't always agree with your 'justifications,' (not that I have to) it is sometimes hard for me to hear your more important, simpilier message.
I guess I don't see this approach, on an emotional level, any different than a 'scheduled' sex approach on a physical level... just to get the ball rolling. Obviously, that is not where people want to stay... but you have to start somewhere.
I'm wondering if there are times when you take someone not agreeing with your opinion as a deeper indication of being ignored or invalidated. If so, you may want to try (with your wife), that whole exercise that NotAtlDave is so high on... repeating back to your spouse what you think you just heard. Might help you both begin to see where you are misunderstanding one another.
Also... and this is a rhetorical question... in addition to trying the mutual 'emotional support' approach... building trust is also important... I wonder if there are any good 'trust' building exercises out there... you have a lot on your plate already... don't want to overload you... but looking at your sitch., and how you are trying to approach it, I can't help but think that somewhere down the line, this will enter the mix...
