Quote: But sometimes the anger is too strong and you just say to yourself “To h*ll with it, I don’t care, I’m going to do as I please!” This is the reality. We all do it. How do you address those times when you enter the red zone?
Cobra, NOP and I have been married almost 30 years. And during that time we have both been incredibly angry and had some loud fights. But, we have never ever called each other names. We have never tried to verbally tear at each other's personhood, nor have we ever attacked each other physically. When we were at the most difficult part of the SSM issue, I did toss a plate of food in the kitchen, but it wasn't aimed toward him. And NOP put a hole in a door in the early years of our marriage.
The strategic withdrawal into another part of the house is an integral part of this with the corollary being that we don't chase after each other when we have to step away. Most marital issues are chronic ones that aren't going to be fully or adequately addressed during one encounter. So, giving it a couple of hours to cool down isn't going to make or break most issues.
So, when we enter the red zone, we put a clamp on our mouths and step away until we can come back to it later.
