Interesting...

maybe too off topic, but this strikes me (again), and I've seen it in multiple threads:
[B]What I see lacking is the buildup to “critical mass,” as Schnarch calls it. These couples do not seem (at least to me) to have come to accept D as a reality, and so have not fully confronted their spouse with the conviction necessary to let that spouse know there is no more room left for negotiation. [/B]

so...you have to be willing to get divorced in order to fix things?
add me to the list of people that aren't willing to go there. Its not that I have any moral or religious objection; I just don't see a) what that would fix, and more importantly, b) I can't afford it!
I don't' know...maybe its the part of the country where I live, its just so expensive...we'd be homeless if we divorced. IMO, better to live a less than idyllic existence that to be out on the street. never mind what it would do to my kid...

Can someone please tell me what the HECK is "FOO"?!?!?!?!?
%$&* message-board abbreviations....arrrghh!!!!

People keep mentioning "Schnarch"...so I went out and bought his book. now I'm wondering if its the right one...but anyway, I bought "passionate marriage". is that the one to read? so far, (only a couple of chapters in), I'm not gettin' it. But that shouldn't be too surprising...