This is really the crux of what I am saying. Overcoming the anger is a major goal, but it is a long term project. I still do not think my W is ready to address hers. Just keeps stuffing it under the rug.
I have tried to address my anger and resentment, go through my FOO stuff, etc., but in the end, I still feel the same emotions when the same situation arises. Knowing myself means accepting this reality and not trying to act like I am healthy. It is only self deception.
So while I cannot control my emotional reaction (or at least only part of it), my wife can help to control the situations that create that reaction. If she is willing to do this in return for me helping her, then it is a major advance, even if it is less than truly healthy.
