Quote: It seems we are not following our own advice.
Yep. Following your own advice is a real b!tch... and the hardest and most uncomfortable thing you can do. Watch yourself next time you and your W go off on a spree. It'll be the instant before you feel anger... you will feel discomfort.... about something.... most likely having to do with yourself. This goes along with what Schnarch calls "self-soothing." Your anger rescues you from the discomfort (not in all instances, don't want to downplay anger, for it does have it purposes)... but anger in the face of discomfort is avoidance... not self-soothing.
Anywho. Yes... respecting each other's anxiety and discomfort can help a TON in both partners willingness to continue to confront themselves.
