I have a "wonderwoman" W too. Although it's nice having someone that will take care of things really well, it usually comes with the no one does it as well. It is then followed by the why can't you guys do it as well as me. Followed by the why aren't you guys even trying. Then it's why are the kids so lazy. Of course it's then, I am so tired of doing it all myself, I don't feel loved by my family, maybe I just need to go off by myself.
News flash. Husband had a clean apartment when you met, could do his own wash, iron his own shirts and fix anything that he set his mind to. Oldest daughter has excellent grades, is gifted and social. By the way she can clean a room when she wants to, can do an outstanding job on the dishes when she wants to and can cook a simple meal if she feels she is needed to. Oldest son can fix computer, work with power tools, do dishes and babysit siblings. Do you see a trend?
Some times, all though we can do it better, can do it faster and won't have to redo it, perhaps it's time to let others have the growth and experience. Kids want to learn, husbands want to show love through service. If you can't accept their gifts of love and service, will they ever feel accepted by you? Will they ever feel good enough? They will feel appathetic to you (self protect mode) and you will feel abandoned and not loved.
There's a focal point there and only you can fix it. I have tried to help my W understand that over the years, but she doesn't get it. W will continue to slave away and our only course is to let her do it. She will be happy (temporarily) with the job just finished, but never completely happy with her lot in life. Do it together, do it with love. They will learn and you'll have happiness doing it together. Eventually you will be able to let them serve you with confidence. You will feel loved.
