Soreheart, I've been there and I'm sorry you have to experience that. When I first found out I was crushed beyond belief. But it CAN get better. You've come to a great place for not only info and insight, but great advice and understanding.
Like everyone and BeingMe said, YOU get better when YOU DECIDE to. The folks here will help, I guarantee.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'