Sick Idea!

[princess_nic]

Once the LD spouse knows what's important to the HD partner, and how it's killing them, how much continual effort are they willing to make to at least TRY?

Well, since you've addressed this to me, I will answer!

I am not actually LD, I've realized. I came to be so in my M due to some childhood issues that I've now resolved, problems in my R with my H, medication and medical problems, and the way H treated me during sex. So you see, there are a lot of reasons.

I didn't deliberately withhold sex, I just didn't want it. And when I initiated, H turned me down. So eventually, I stopped initiating. I think it was the same for him. I never actually made the connection to H's behaviour and my lack of desire until we separated. I have not had any other sexual (or emotional) relationships since I was married, but I do find that my desire has returned.

I think that if the HD partner tells the LD partner how impt it is for him/her and then MAKES AN EFFORT TO GIVE THE LD PARTNER WHAT THEY NEED, it is certainly up to the LD partner to make an effort, too. Both must make the effort. In the case of my H and me, we both just got angry and resentful, but never talked about it. This was just one of many issues in our marriage that never got dealt with.

Now, we are no longer living together, but we are still married. I don't know what will happen, but if we do reconcile, sex is definitely one the things that we will have to talk about and resolve.

The thing with SD is that it is linked to so many other issues, esp for women I think, but for many men too. I don't know your story, but if YOU are trying, and if you've told your W how you feel, then I personally think that if she's NOT trying, it's not about the sex. Are you in MC?

Nic