The HD spouse (or MAN if that's the way you want to see it) tends to woo the woman in all kinds of ways. He flatters her, takes her out, buys her flowers and other gifts, pays attention to her every word etc in order to get his heart's desire. She is persuaded by his attentions and gives him what he wants (not to say she doesn't want it too). Then it would appear he thinks "ha, job done, no further need to woo, I have her". Well sorry!
These women did not cheat their H's into thinking they were HD, they are probably feeling cheated themselves.
A relationship starts out with the woman having the supply and the man having the demand. He wants something she’s got. She does not put out until she feels secure enough in the strength of his desire and what he is willing to give in order to secure her supply. Does he place a high enough value on her for her to be willing to give up what she has? If she feels he does then she will “fall for him”. And hot sex ensues. After a while the man begins to feel he’s getting it for free, he can come home from work in a grumpy mood, watch TV all night, come to bed without showering and expect to get hot sex. The woman feels devalued, cheapened, by this attitude. She feels turned off. She wants to recreate what they had, those romantic feelings of being desired and wooed. Well what does she do? She goes back to withholding the supply.
Then of course there are the women who have read too many issues of Cosmo in their youth and think that men like hot chicks that jump straight into bed with them just for the asking. And those ones probably are acting a part, those ones probably have no idea what desire is and many, many of them have never had a real O. So they will start asking themselves “what’s in this for me?”.
My H has a Lotus Elise. He desired that Lotus when he first saw a picture of it in a magazine. He said “I will have that car”. He got the car, he loved the car and drove it every day for a year. Then he drove it a couple of times a week, then just at weekends. Then it stayed in the garage for a month or two. Next time he went to drive it, it wouldn’t start. He left it in the garage. H still owns the car. It is in the garage on blocks, and hasn’t been driven for over four years.
My H has a wife. He desired that woman when he first saw her. He said “I will have that woman”. He married the woman, he loved the woman and cared for her, complimented her and took her out and made love to her every day for a year. Then he made love to her a couple of times a week, then just at weekends. Then nothing for a month or two. Next time he went to make love, she wasn’t in the mood.
Fran
Last edited by haphazard; 10/09/0612:20 PM.
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
