First, sorry. Second, who am I posting to? I thought it was V-Wife? And I don't know what her (or your ?) sitch is in that, okay we get that he has LD. But as you said, there are other issues. Sounds as if it is a lot more than just LD. LD for sex is a drag and if that were the only problem, in and of itself --- like a low testosterone level, it'd be much less complicated.. This sounds as if you are saying it's, LD for sex PLUS LD for intimacy, --huge issue- and maybe LD for explaining and working on it----even larger issue(s).
Nope, no toys for that. If you read my earlier posts to VW, I mean the same for LD men as women. If my H refused to provide this essential aspect of marriage, which ONLY HE can provide WITHIN the M, to me (and it IS an essential, it is more than a perk)...sorry if this sounds harsh, but for ME, it'd just be a deal breaker. Sure, I'd give it some time, warn, explain, etc. But if it comes down to no sex the rest of my life, or very little sex and only begrudingly given, see you later. That is just cruel to do to someone inside the M and for God's sake, why would he want to be M at all, if there is no intimacy?
I am missing too many pieces to this puzzle to understand him/this/your stich and cannot offer anything useful without the other pieces. Is he getting help? Does he love you? How long has this been going on? j-
The short easy answer to how long this has been going on is almost forever. I meant that statement I made when I said a decade without sex gives one the right to reclaim virgin status! That's just my opinion though!
There's always reasons. I read that statement as excuses. He acted sexual until we were married then it all slowly went down the drain. Whenever we did have sex, it was all for him. Any satisfaction I got was an accidental afterthought. In 1998, I told him no more oral till I was satisfied and that was it....no more sex of any kind. I just got tired of ML to a frog. Got the picture?
For a while he was diabetic and had ED. He had surgery several years ago and is free of diabetes. After the surgery, he told me he was functional again. Too bad he doesn't want to use it for anything.
Other than being asexual, he's the best husband in the world. In a way, that sucks because I can't despise him. For years, I thought there was something wrong with me. It took me a long time to figure out that wanting a sexual relationship with your SO doesn't make you a flaming sex addict who needs to be hosed down regularly.
