Let me assure you...toys, while they can be a short-term distraction aren't the solution to this, they don't cut it when you are looking for this type of contact from your spouse, this type of intimacy. I have my own toys....and right now, I can't even look at them anymore, I'm SICK of them!!! So no offense, but that comment kind of rubbed me the wrong way...as if a toy would fill that void. You may not have meant it that way, but it's how it came across to me when I read it.
Going to a spa for a massage every now and then is a good idea, BUT it's still not the contact from the person you LOVE....that intimacy from your spouse that you seek. A massage helps relieve some tension in me, sure...but I can't roll over and ML to the person giving me that massage.
My H (after reading Virgin's story) is much like hers. His T-level is fine...but he has other issues. It does happen that there are men out there who don't initiate sex...however, there are often other issues behind that. My H for instance has an issue with whore/madonna complex...which we are currently trying to work with.
