You know my first reaction to that was Oh (insert bad word) I can't do that. That would be too...much.
Then I thought about it some more

Im inclined to believe your first reaction.

Looks like more of this...
yet there was this weird battle going on in my mind cause I didn't want him to know how much I enjoyed it--how much I need him. In the end, I stuttered out, No I love it

Quote:

If you are going to turn off her alarm, just tell me so I dont get upset with her for not obeying the 'rules'.
This is what I said the first time he did it. So I mistakenly thought that he understood not to do it again and THAT is where I made my mistake. So the next day, instead of reacting like I did the first day I got irritated and said Why do you keep turning her alarm off? By the 3rd day it was just hard for me to keep my cool but I did.
See I'm not really a control freak ..........
that attitude irks him off and yet I can't come up with a way to handle these types of situations. Eventually I get what I want.



Do you?

I wonder what sort of feeling of respect a man receives, when his wife feels the need to control him, to get what she wants.
Even if you do get what you want, the 1st day comment is veery incongruent with what you are thinking and continuing to do. If you meant what you said the first day, you would just question him why he didnt tell you so D7 doesnt get in trouble. If you didnt want him to do it again, you should have said, Dont do it again, I teach her and have to deal with babyP. So dont go buttin in. j/k on that last part.

This is not a judgement or a comment on details of the conflict. Its how its dealt with. If you arent authentic, you can make your demeanor and speech as unangry and as nicey nicey as you want. It only takes a quick 'test' to see if it is authentic or not. Since he did it again and again, Im inclined to think it was a unconcious 'test'.

remember in my prior post, I said, that statement was a tacit acknowledgement that you Can't/won't control him.

IMO, herein lies the tiredness of Mr. LFL, Mr. UD etal.
They got tired of feeling controlled, unappreciated.
Thats not an excuse, or relieving them of their obligations to deal with conflict. It just is.
You can make it nice and impossible for him, assume imaginary 'control', (women are typically infintely better at this) and withhold the verbal acknowledgements, or come at it from your side of the equation towards respecting a deserving H. Whether he deserves it or not is completely in the W's power of perspective.

That last remark, is not directed specifically just at you HP. Youve done alot and come along way towards improving yourself and hence your M. Alot.