I have done the same thing with not letting MrH see me cry. True, when he does see it, he acts like a fool but the God's honest truth is that I don't want him to see it anyway. I think that's why I brought it up...because I recognize that I need to get more intimate with him but that we are both going to have to grow up a little, first. I think I can work through my own inhibitions but, at the same time, he has to learn how to support me and not put pressure on me to stop.
Two comments…. 1) How can he be your prince charming and rescue you if you won’t allow yourself to be the damsel in distress? 2) Not being the damsel in distress doesn’t give him the opportunity to practice supporting you, it doesn’t create the feeling within him of ever having to rescue you and he therefore sees no reason not to pressure you. But I bet he understands that with your daughter.
Now, Cobra, before you jump on me, I said that nicely but firmly, kwim?
I am sure you did. Even if you haven’t had that tone in years, he may still be hearing it, which might be his way of pushing off his anxiety onto you. OTOH, if you’re “friggin fuming on the inside,” he probably knows it.
But, Corri, reading that 4 inch thick binder in my basement clued me in real fast--this guy goes pretty deep. Why he won't let me see that side I don't know and don't care but it bothered me a lot that he wrote letters to me and put them in the binder instead of giving them to me cause he could not trust my reaction. I want to change that.
I think Dr. Laura does a good job of explaining all this. But since it is from the male’s POV and rebuts long held, false beliefs by women, it doesn’t seem to get much attention. Sort of like that blond Corri was talking to at that party.
